Two

After Sylvia dropped Paul off at work, she digs through her purse and turns her cell phone on. And like clockwork, she got a voice mail from Tony, "Hi sweetie, lunch today? Call me, love you." It was to early to call him back just yet.

Tony is Sylvia's companion and lover. Nowadays more companion.  Ever since she started menopause, sexual desire is on hiatus. Tony is a patient and loyal companion. Tony has never loved a woman the way he loves Sylvia. And for that reason alone, Sylvia hasn't found it in her heart to be honest with Tony. Many times she's tried to find the right words to let him know that she is married and lives only a block away from him. Tony does know, however, that Sylvia has a teenage daughter.

Eleven years ago, Sylvia's marriage had hit a major snag. Paul and Sylvia were fighting all the time. A couple times got physical to the point Paul was taken to jail. Feeling alone and unloved, Sylvia was curious about online dating. If for anything to seek comfort and a loving, intimate touch with no strings attached. Sylvia created an account without expectations, not really knowing what type of people are online. As she created an account, she found herself marking single on the profile, for fear of being judged. Even though plenty of men and women were not shy about marking married seeking intimate encounters on their profile.

After posting her profile, she had some hits, met a few men from the site and has had various lunch dates and sexual encounters. A lot were very passionate. Certain things done to her that even Paul wouldn't do. All was going well for Sylvia, maintaining her sanity and holding a bad marriage together with few fights. Sylvia didn't want to break up the family unit for Bethany's sake. Unlike Paul, Sylvia didn't desire alcohol the way Paul did. She didn't actually understand how it was people allowed themselves to get addicted to alcohol or drugs. Sylvia didn't even like the feeling of buzz much less being full blown drunk. She had witnessed, many times, how stupid people acted and how sick they were after the fallout. Not something she desired at all. Be that as it may, Sylvia was escaping her problems a couple times a week and had no regrets.

After being online for three months, she had a response on her profile from Tony. So she goes to his profile and noticed how handsome this man was. Tall, 6'4" black hair, brown eyes and slim. He was Italian and never been married. No children and was employed as an engineer at Boeing. He had a high position within the company, always taking business trips to the headquarters in Seattle. He comes from a fairly large family with four sisters and five brothers and remains the only bachelor of the family but a proud uncle at that. Tony has never found the right woman. He found that the women he met played games. Still without clue that Sylvia is married. Tony is two years younger than Sylvia. After Sylvia had sent a message back to Tony, they agreed to speak with each other by phone before actually meeting in person. So in order for this to work for Sylvia, she went out and bought one of those prepaid, non contract cell phones, so not to trace her infidelity.

After two weeks of conversing by phone, they finally agreed to meet for lunch. They decided on a little intimate out of the way southwestern restaurant. Sylvia was nervous yet excited at the same time. She's never felt this anxious meeting with a man before. Since Sylvia and Tony have been talking with each other, Sylvia hasn't felt the need to go back to her profile and check for other prospects. And Sylvia decided if this goes well with Tony, she just may get off the site all together. Just as well, it is pretty risky being on the site in the first place. Sylvia always fears that she may come across someone her and Paul knows.

When Sylvia arrived at the restaurant, she was a little early and went ahead and got a table. The server brought her out a glass of water, which Sylvia was thankful for. Sweaty palms and dry throat getting more and more anxious. Then he walks in. Wearing an Armani suit, he was simply breathtaking. Tony made eye contact with Sylvia gave a glowing smile and a little wave as he headed to her table. Sylvia noticed she still had on her wedding rings and discreetly slid off her finger and slipped into her clutch. Tony greeted Sylvia with a peck on her cheek, "So glad to finally meet you face to face." Sylvia shyly replied, "Yes, yes it is." Tony then said, "It was worth the wait, you are more beautiful than your picture." "Thank you," Sylvia replied.

So they both ordered there meal and was talking and laughing as if they were a married couple. Tony had ordered wine for the both of them. Sylvia felt warm and giddy all over. Not wanting more than two glasses though for fear that she may get sick or pass out.

After lunch, they escorted each other out to the parking lot. Tony, the gentleman that he was gave Sylvia a small, light kiss on the lips. Tony had stated that he had a wonderful time and looked forward to see more of each other.

This was the start of a long and beautiful relationship.

One

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Yet another morning that Sylvia recites The Serenity Prayer to herself hoping it will actually lift her spirits so that she can tackle another day of guilt, frustration and the never ending desire to bang her head against the wall hoping in some magical way she can have a do-over.

Sylvia isn't an alcoholic. Actually she's only had but a few drinks her entire adult life. Her husband, Paul, however is a recovering alcoholic. One might say a struggling recovering alcoholic. Drink of choice, originally, was beer. Since he has fallen off the wagon a few times, Paul has turned to whiskey. And without fail, he has gotten sick every time. Praying to the toilet, something Paul calls his porcelain god, making promises that he survives and that he will give up drinking for good. Of course empty promises at that. Sylvia decided any promise Paul makes is a false promise. Because alcoholics are liars, right?

Sylvia, slowly, approaching Bethany's room to wake her up so she could get ready for school, is always such a chore. "C'mon, I'm not going to fight with you this morning. I don't have time." Sylvia exclaims refraining from using curse words. "Five more minutes," Bethany grumbles. "No, and if this is going to be a problem, I will just start getting you up earlier," Sylvia snaps back. "Ok, ok, whatever, " says Bethany as she sits up.

Running an inventory of the list of things Sylvia has to get done today, she heads to the kitchen putting together Paul's lunch and gets him his breakfast. Just wishing the morning would fly by.


As Paul eats his cereal, Sylvia checks on Bethany, which now has become habit since Bethany has missed the bus a few times and Sylvia having to take her to school. Noticing that Bethany tends to sleep long hours seems to disturb Sylvia. Avoiding the obvious question. Is Bethany doing drugs and just how bad is it?

Much to Sylvia's surprise, not only was Bethany dressed, but the bed was made too. Smiling at Bethany and asking, "What would you like for breakfast?" "I'm good, they are serving french toast sticks this morning" says Bethany. "Ok then, make it a good day and I'll see you later," says Sylvia. Bethany then approaches Sylvia and gives her a big hug. Suspiciously, Sylvia reciprocates.

Paul finishes his breakfast and says, "I'm ready, let's go." Sylvia has been driving Paul to work since his car has been out of commission. Transmission went out. "Ok, Bethany, we're leaving now, please, please don't miss the bus!" "I know, I know. I have to get to school on time today anyway and stop by the library," explains Bethany.  

On that note, Sylvia and Paul head out. So far a fairly smooth morning.